Road Hogs 4

Road Hogs: Chronicles of Redemption

Chapter 4: The Altar of the Asphalt

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Adventure 4: The Missing Historian

Morwen's magical ultimatum still rang in their ears. Ten more good deeds stood between the Road Hogs and their true human faces. Rolling out of the picturesque valley, their choppers carried them into a mist-shrouded village nestled deep in an isolated forest. The air grew cold, and the generator tables spun a dark, unsettling web:

Element	Result	Description
Town Type	Weird and creepy	Blackwood, an isolated settlement dripping with heavy fog.
Noteworthy Feature	A mysterious cult	The locals speak in hushed whispers and wear strange amulets.
The Scenario	Rescue a hostage	A captive is being held for an impending sinister ritual.
The Location	Old Town Church	A decaying, ramshackle church with a leaking roof.
The Objective	Old Habits Die Hard	An occult con artist has fooled the town to extract an ancient artifact.
The Complication	A Demon in Sheep's Clothing	A summoning ritual goes askew, possessing a nearby farm animal instead.

The streets of Blackwood were completely empty, save for a frantic young satyr who emerged from the shadows of an alleyway as the gang cut their engines near the village square.

Satyr: "Thank the heavens! You have to help me. My professor, Dr. Marrow, was kidnapped from our research camp this morning!"

Perry: "Slow down, little guy. Who took him, and why would anyone want to kidnap a dusty old academic?"

Satyr: "The 'Preacher' at the Old Town Church! He claims he's saving the town from a curse, but he's actually a notorious occult fraud named Malakai. He found out Dr. Marrow carries an ancient amulet capable of opening an underworld gate beneath the church floor. They are going to sacrifice the professor's life-force to unlock it at midnight!"

Buster: "A phony preacher pulling a classic snatch-and-grab. I hate guys like that."

Mac: "The midnight hour is closing in. Let's head to the church, but we need to find a way inside without alerting his cultist congregation."

They crept up to the side of the decaying gothic structure. Water dripped steadily from the leaky roof into puddles below. Through a cracked stained-glass window, they could see dozens of robed cultists chanting, while Dr. Marrow was tied securely to a wooden chair near the altar.

Perry: "The side door is heavily barred from the inside, but there's a rusted drainage mechanism holding up the old iron bell tower access. Buster, think you can rattle it loose without causing a total collapse?"

Buster: "Rattle things loose? Perry, that is my absolute specialty."

🎲 Challenge: Forcing open the rusted drainage hatch quietly to gain entry

GM Designations: Brawny Challenge | Difficulty: 5

Player Dice Pool: Buster handles the iron hatch. He rolls 3 dice (Matches Brawny Trait). Because he is incredibly Stubborn, he refuses to use Mac's oil spray and forces the metal purely with brute grit, increasing the difficulty to 6!

Dice Result: [4, 2, 6]

Outcome: Success! The 6 matches the maximum difficulty. Buster pops the iron lock with a muffled groan and recovers 1 Resolve Token!

Buster planted his massive boots against the stone wall, wrapped his thick arms around the iron bars of the hatch, and pulled. The ancient metal screamed silently under the tension before snapping with a clean, low thud. He smirked, wiping rust from his snout.

Buster: "There. Like a hot knife through butter. Watch your step, it's muddy in here."

They slipped into the back of the nave just as Malakai raised a glowing, jagged dagger above the terrified professor.

Malakai: "With this amulet and this sacrifice, the ancient entity shall walk the earth once more!"

Perry: "Hey, Malakai! Your sermon's running a little long, and honestly? Your delivery is completely dead!"

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Chaos at the Altar

Startled by the interruption, Malakai rushed his final incantation. He stabbed the dagger directly into the ancient amulet on the floor, but his clumsy hand slipped. The summoning circle flared with an unstable, wild crimson energy that shot right past the professor and zipped straight out an open window toward the churchyard pasture!

A terrifying, demonic braying echoed from outside. A fraction of a second later, a massive, muscular farm ram exploded through the church doors. Its eyes glowed with hellfire, its horns curled with dark energy, and it was absolutely furious at being trapped in livestock form.

Malakai: "No! The ritual miscalculated! The demon possessed the sacrificial sheep! Cultists, defend the altar anyway!"

Mac: "Great, now we're fighting robed fanatics and a demonic farm animal! Buster, handle the muscle, I'm going for the professor!"

⚔️ Combat Challenge: Subdue the possessed ram and defeat Malakai's cultists

GM Designations: Agile/Brawny Battle | Effort Tokens Required: 6

Round 1: Mac maneuvers through the pews to reach the hostage!

Dice Pool: 3 dice (Agile). Difficulty: 5.

Dice Result: [5, 2, 5] — Exceptional Success!

Outcome: 2 successes remove 2 Effort Tokens. Mac dodges two cultists and slices the professor's ropes clean off!

Round 1: Perry uses his wits to misdirect the possessed ram's charge!

Dice Pool: 3 dice (Crafty). Difficulty: 5.

Dice Result: [1, 3, 4] — Failure.

Action: Perry uses his Gift of Gab to taunt the beast, spending 1 Karma Token to reduce the difficulty to 4. The 4 now becomes a success!

Outcome: 1 success removes 1 Effort Token. (Remaining Effort: 3).

Round 1: Buster goes head-to-head with the demonic animal!

Dice Pool: 3 dice (Brawny). Difficulty: 5.

Dice Result: [5, 6, 3] — Exceptional Success!

Outcome: 2 successes remove 2 Effort Tokens. (Remaining Effort: 1).

Mac vaulted over the wooden pews like an acrobat, sliding across the altar floor. With a swift flick of his pocket knife, he sliced through the ropes binding Dr. Marrow. "Come on, Doc! Time to exit the congregation!"

Perry: "Hey, mutton-head! Over here! I’ve seen better horns on a broken Cadillac!" Perry waved his leather jacket dramatically. The possessed ram snorted brimstone and charged, but Perry leaped aside at the very last second, causing the beast to smash face-first into a heavy oak pillar, loosening the leaky roof even more.

Before the demon-ram could recover, Buster intercepted it, grabbing it squarely by its cursed, twisting horns. His massive hog shoulders tensed as he locked in a pure trial of physical strength against the underworld entity.

Buster: "You might be a demon, pal, but you're in my pit now!"

⚔️ Combat Challenge: Banishing the Threat (1 Effort Remaining)

Round 2: Perry manipulates the leaky roof to end the ritual!

Dice Pool: 3 dice (Crafty). Difficulty: 5.

Dice Result: [6, 2, 4] — Success!

Outcome: The final Effort Token is removed. The battle is concluded!

Perry noticed the cracked support beam above the altar where the rain had rotted the wood. He grabbed a heavy metal candelabra and threw it like a javelin, striking the weakened beam perfectly. A massive section of the heavy plaster and wooden ceiling collapsed directly onto Malakai and the summoning circle, smashing the ancient amulet into tiny, inert pieces.

With the amulet destroyed, the crimson hellfire evaporated from the ram's eyes. It blinked sleepily, let out a completely normal, innocent "Baaaa," and trotted out of the church looking for grass to eat.

Malakai crawled out from beneath the debris, his fake vestments covered in plaster dust, only to find Buster standing over him with crossed arms.

Malakai: "Uh... can we talk about this like reasonable gentlemen?"

Buster: "Sure. Talk to the state troopers when they get here."

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Four Down, Nine to Go

By the time the surrounding forest towns' authorities arrived to round up the phony preacher and his cult, Dr. Marrow was safely resting in the back of the satyr’s transport vehicle.

Dr. Marrow: "I don't know who you three extraordinary gentlemen are, but you've saved my life and prevented an occult catastrophe. If there is ever anything I can do to repay you..."

Perry: "Just keep writing your books, Doc. And maybe stay away from drafty old churches."

As they walked back to their choppers, a sudden tingle of warm, magical energy flowed into their chests. Perry pulled down his collar. The coarse, bristle hair on their upper chests had faded away, returning to smooth human skin. But their faces were still as porcine as ever.

Mac: "Well, that's four good deeds down. The warlock's curse is breaking piece by piece, but we've still got a long ride ahead of us."

Buster: "Suits me fine. The bikes are running great, and the open road is calling. Let's find the next town."

With a thunderous kick, their engines roared to life, cutting through the thick forest fog as the Road Hogs headed out once more into the unknown night...

The road stretches onward! Road Hogs blends action-packed storytelling with the fast, narrative mechanics of the Tricube Tales framework.

Bring your own biker heroes to life in this amazing setting created by Richard Woolcock.

👉 You can find it here: DriveThruRPG - Road Hogs